


Good Times, Bad Times

by ara_chan



Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Slash, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 08:39:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ara_chan/pseuds/ara_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spanning from season one to season five, this series of stories follows Tony DiNozzo as he discovers just what it is that he feels for the most important person in his life through the good times and the bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dazed and Confused

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter One may contain potential spoilers up through season 1 - "Dead Man Talking" 4.27.04

He didn't mind the teasing. In fact, most of the time he was willing to acknowledge that he deserved it. Tony enjoyed pushing her buttons every bit as much as Kate seemed to delight in ridiculing him. She was everything that he could have wanted in a little sister, regardless of the fact that she was two years older than him. Being an only child, Tony had never gotten to have the fun that came with tormenting siblings − and now he had one of his very own at the office. Kate was a challenge, not because she was difficult to fluster but because she always got revenge, even if it meant playing dirty.

Unfortunately, it was that very talent for badgering him that he both liked and hated about her. Tony had a great respect for her ability to stick up for herself, to fight back when prodded, but Kate had also managed to find the one thing that caused him to question himself. Worse was the fact that she continually used it as a wild card to win any argument where he had the upper hand. The memory of Amanda Reed still caused him no small amount of embarrassment, but even worse was the constant needling that was driving him to the point of snapping. That was the one thing he absolutely refused to do in front of her. A witty comeback at his expense was one thing, but reducing him to being unable to do more than swear wasn't fighting fair. 

Tony had tried to send her subtle hints and even less-than-subtle body language that the topic of the dead lieutenant was off limits, but she didn't seem to care. In fact, Kate seemed to delight in telling people that he had tongued a transsexual. During their months together, the two had always had something of an unspoken pact: never in front of Gibbs. Total strangers, potential dates, and coworkers were all fair game for embarrassing comments, but the boss was _verboten_. Whenever he came onto the scene, all teasing was supposed to stop. 

For some reason, though, Kate had violated their agreement and had rubbed it in his face directly to Gibbs. Even worse, Gibbs had laughed. The hurt look he had shot his partner only caused Kate's smile to broaden at her complete victory. Offering the room a lamely spoken excuse about checking on the DNA results of their case, Tony got up and left the bullpen. Whether it was real or only in his head, the sound of Kate's laughter followed him all the way to the elevator until the soft swish of the metal doors silenced the chatter of their office. 

As soon as the doors opened again, the blaring sounds of industrial music hit him like tangible waves. Abby was in the inner portion of the lab, hunched over her desk working. The glass door partitioning the lab was open, letting all of the noise from within pour out. It wasn't the sort of thing that he typically listened to, but it was mind-numbingly loud, which was good enough for him. Pulling a chair over from the computer station, Tony seated himself and propped his feet up to wait. He was in no hurry for her to finish up. The longer she took in there, the longer it would be before he had to go back upstairs. Scooting lower in his seat, Tony closed his eyes and took advantage of the chance to rest.

A sudden scream jerked him back to his senses, and Tony nearly fell out of his chair as he instinctively reached for the gun that wasn't in his holster. 

"Damn it, Tony!" A latex glove was flung at him and smacked him in the face. "You scared the hell out of me! Do you have some weird fetish where you like to sneak up on women and just stare at them?"

"If it makes you feel any better, your yelling didn't do anything good for my heart either." He offered her his most sincerely innocent smile, hoping that a cute and contrite face would earn him clemency. "Sorry?"

"You're just lucky, mister." From the predatory smirk she wore, Tony assumed that he was forgiven and just being teased now. "If the evidence I spent the day so carefully analyzing had been dropped, you would have been in _big_ trouble, and Gibbs would be the one you'd be apologizing to."

The mention of their boss's name caused the smile on his own face to vanish, and Tony's earlier, dour look returned. Being laughed at by Gibbs was bad enough, but to follow it up with a dressing down would have been too much to deal with for one day.

His abrupt change in mood didn't escape Abby, even though Tony tried to cover it by turning away and standing up. "Aww, what happened?" she asked, keeping her tone light and concerned.

"Nothin'. Don't worry about it." He wasn't sure he wanted to talk about this even with Abby, and she was the one person he knew who was most likely to understand. He was confident that she wouldn't tease him, but it was still a very uncomfortable subject that he didn't want to be reminded of. "How about those test results?"

But Abby wasn't letting him off that easily, not when her spidey-sense was telling her that he was genuinely upset about something. "Gibbs is rubbing off on you: he always knows when my babies have finished their jobs. But these aren't for you. Major Mass Spec won't go _ding_ for at least another fifteen minutes. You might as well go back upstairs." She mentally nodded as his mouth twitched almost imperceptibly into a pout. " _Or_ you could hang out here and tell Dr Abby what's bothering you." Bending down, she pulled a futon mattress out from the bottom shelf of the cabinet nearest the door and unrolled it on the floor. "See, I've got a couch and everything."

"I don't know if I can afford the hourly rate." The smile that turned his mouth up didn't reach all the way to his eyes. "It's not that I don't appreciate the thought, Abbs."

Making herself comfortable beside the futon, she patted the mattress invitingly. "As a close and personal friend, you can have the first one for free. I miss your cute, little smile, so sit and tell Dr Abby all about it. Case gone sour?"

Tony hesitated a moment longer before giving up with a sigh. There was a soft grunt as he dropped to the floor and spread himself out along its length. "The case is going fine. We've got two good leads on the money, though we're still waiting on this test to get the judge to sign off on the warrant."

"All right, not the case then. Did Gibbs pick on you again?"

"This doesn't have anything to do with Gibbs!" The forcefulness of his reply startled even Tony himself. Clearing his throat, he counted backwards from ten before speaking again. "It doesn't matter what Gibbs thinks."

A more obvious lie had never been spoken. "Fine. Not Gibbs, either. It wasn't McGee, was it?"

Through it all, McGee had kept his head down and his mouth shut. "No, Probie's a good boy − but a reasonable guess."

"Aah." Lips pursed, she nodded her head with full certainty. If it wasn't the one sibling, then it was the other. "Then it's Kate. What did you do to her this time?"

"Nothing!" Indignation was strong in his voice as he turned a glare on her. "Why do you automatically assume _I_ did something?" When Abby didn't back down and matched his gaze with a disbelieving little smile, he let out a sigh. "I may have said something about her date last night, but− but that's not the point. I tease her, she teases me; that's how it's supposed to work. But she really gets a kick out of taking it too far."

It was difficult to keep from pointing out that Kate wasn't the only one constantly toeing the line of propriety. "So, what was it that she did? You can tell me."

"I've already been humiliated once today, thanks." 

"Was it better or worse than that one time your first year that you hit on the associate director in the parking lot and we all had to sit through a series of sexual harassment seminars?"

After a few moments of silence, he caved and rolled his eyes with a growl of frustration. "She keeps taunting me about having kissed Amanda Reed."

"Reed? Who was− Oh! Lieutenant He-She!" The exact details of the months-old case had never been told to her, but she did know that Tony had kissed the lieutenant once before he had been shot. "Why should that be such a big deal?"

With a bitter laugh, Tony shook his head. "I made out with a _guy_ , Abby. His tongue was doing incredibly inappropriate things in my mouth. If he hadn't been a murder suspect, we more than likely would have wound up horizontal back at my place. And Kate finds it hysterical. Anthony DiNozzo: a great-big, sissy, nancy, man-kisser. What's _not_ funny about that?"

"We'll assume for the sake of this discussion that you didn't know that I have a number of male friends who enjoy kissing other men." Reaching out, she took Tony's hand and gave it a sharp squeeze. "There's nothing wrong with what you did. Well, maybe there is, a little, since he was a murder suspect and all, but kissing another guy isn't the wrong part of that."

"You'd be perfectly happy tonguing another woman?"

"Depends on who the woman. But if you mean do I object to the idea in general? Absolutely not."

This time the smile on his face was genuine as he imagined Abby animatedly kissing another sexy woman. "As great a mental image as that is, it's not the same thing."

"Because you're a guy?" The expression on her face said very clearly that his next words ought to be carefully considered.

Clearing his throat, Tony shook his head. "Nope, I was wrong. Definitely no problem with it. It's perfectly fine."

"Atta boy," she praised in her best imitation of Gibbs, rubbing the back of his head affectionately. "Seriously, Tony, is this bothering you because there's nothing there and Kate keeps teasing you about it, or because there _is_ something there and Kate keeps teasing you about it?"

Tony opened his mouth to reply, but no answer came out. He lay there for a moment, brows knit in confusion. "A few months ago, I could have told you without the slightest hesitation. Now... I dunno."

"That's a fair answer. Then let me ask another one: What do you think about good but meaningless sex?"

The question screamed of a trap, but Abby was staring at him expectantly as if she really wanted him to answer. "I think it's a fabulous idea. Now comes the part where you hit me and tell me I'm a sexist Neanderthal?"

"No way!" Her pigtails flipped from side to side as she shook her head animatedly. "Meaningless sex can be awesome. No strings, no weird emotional tangles − just a good time for everyone."

"Thank you!" Tony threw his hands up in a frustrated gesture. As much fun as Kate could be, she took offense at the slightest provocation. "It can be really hard working with a prude."

"I think that 'Catholic' is the word you're looking for."

Rolling onto his side, Tony pushed himself up onto one elbow. "Where is this line of questioning going, Detective?"

Pleased, she flashed him a 100-watt smile. "If you want, I'd like to help you figure out the answer to your gender-bender question."

"Please define 'help', 'cause Kate would be hitting me in a very sensitive place right now for where my mind is going."

"Yeah, that's 'cause Kate's a prude − but in a totally nice, well-meaning way. And if you even _think_ about telling her that I said that, do keep in mind that I know about a hundred ways to kill you without anyone ever finding any evidence."

"I would never dream of it." Not wanting to be slapped with sexual harassment charges or be killed mercilessly, Tony asked slowly, "You're offering to help me with my problem concerning Lt. Voss by...?"

"My place. Saturday night, bring a change of clothes." She couldn't help thinking that Tony looked extremely cute as he tried to restrain himself from doing a victory dance on her futon. "Give us a few hours, and I'm sure we'll have a few answers to any pesky, lingering questions you might have."

There was something off in her tone of voice that set off the detective warning bells in Tony's head. "But 'we', you mean you and me, right?"

"Of course! It'll just be you and me aaand..." Her predatory smile was firmly back in place as Tony's eyes went wide.

"You wouldn't. Him? Abby!" His fantasy about Abby in leather and lace was short lived, killed by the stuttering image of McGee in bed with them. "It doesn't matter. It's not like he'd do it. Not even for you."

"Oh, really? You have so little faith in my persuasive abilities?" It was fun to make Tony blanch; she could completely understand why Kate enjoyed doing it. "If you must know, McGee has never said 'no' to one of my ideas, and this is much tamer than some of the things we've tried."

"Like what?" The uncertainty and disgust was instantly replaced with unbridled curiosity, and he leaned in closer for what promised to be amazing gossip. 

"You know what they say: 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' If he wants to tell you, he can. You and Kate may tease him a lot at work, but McGee knows a lot more than you give him credit for."

"Such as?"

Smugly, Abby shot him a broad smile. "Unlike some men I've known, I have never been dissatisfied by McGee."

Shocked, Tony's mouth pursed in deep thought. "I have to confess to a certain curiosity about how that can be. He doesn't seem the type to have a 1.000 batting average with women."

"His biggest problems are that he's shy, concerned about messing up, and loves to please people more than himself. By simply creating an environment where the second issue is eliminated, he can overcome the former while I get to enjoy the latter. And what you need is a little of both sides of the fence to conduct a proper experiment."

It was weird how a day could go from utterly miserably to having casual sex lined up for the weekend with an incredibly hot coworker. And her boytoy. "How exactly are you going to get McGee to agree to this? He doesn't even like me, so I doubt very much he's going to be interested in sleeping with me. Or, you know, whatever it is you had in mind."

She laughed as she fluffed Tony's hair. "Aw, he likes you more than you think. If he didn't, then he wouldn't care what you say about him. Besides that, he's a very nice boy; I'm sure he'll want to help."

"No− Please, Abby, I don't want him knowing any more about this than he already does. I don't need jokes from him as well."

"This is _McGee_ , Tony. He's... like a great, big, cuddly puppy." Pushing herself up to her feet when her computer chirped at her, she moved to print the results for him. "And as to the 'how', I'll tell him that the next time he wants, he can pick the girl that comes over to play."

Tony scrambled to her side. "You would do that for me? That is so hot, Abby − _God_ you're amazing!"

"I know. But you shouldn't say that like you think it's this great, inappropriate thing. There's nothing wrong with a group of consenting adults getting together to party over the weekend and enjoy themselves."

"That is the sexiest thing I've ever heard." He took the print out and scanned the results. Tony's smile broadened even further at what he saw. "You don't think that this'll make working together awkward, do you?"

"Are you still friends with any of the girls you've slept with?"

Shrugging, he replied, "The ones who didn't end up being bat-shit crazy, yeah."

"Then I think we'll be fine. Besides, it's not like you're going to see McGee at work every day for much longer. After all, he's only on loan from Norfolk, and he'll be going back eventually." Abby didn't look as happy about that as she tried to make her words seem, but even so, she couldn't help smiling when Tony leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Now run along back upstairs and give the news to Gibbs so that you can all go catch the bad guys!"

***** 

Tony raised his hand to knock for the third time, and in keeping with his first two attempts, he lowered it unsuccessfully. It had been one of the longest weeks of his life, waiting for Saturday to roll around finally. He was proud that he had only been caught daydreaming once. Gibbs had slapped him upside the head for it, but to his credit, he had been able to rattle off a list of facts and updates about the case that had made Kate's nose scrunch up in disgust. Even better than her irritation had been the almost proud look on Gibbs's face. A verbal "Good work, DiNozzo" had been followed up with another slap to the back of the head. This one had been different. It had felt good, approving even. Tony had been all smiles ever since. It had been an awesome week, and it was going to be an even better weekend.

Bolstered by the memory, he took a deep breath and rapped loudly on the door.

From within, there was a thunderous sound as Abby bounded for the door. She was still bouncing in place excitedly when she opened it to greet him. "Took you long enough!" Grabbing him by the hand, Abby pulled him inside the apartment and lifted herself up onto her toes to lay a light, welcoming kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I'm glad you decided to come."

"Yeah, I, uh..." His voice trailed off mid-excuse. They never worked with Abby anyway. In the two years that they had known each other, Abby had hosted a few parties at her place, so he wasn't surprised by the décor. The black lights and blood-red wallpaper still dominated the living room, giving it an edge that was very much Abby, as was the coffin-shaped "day bed" along the wall. 

"I wasn't about to wuss-out on you," he finally said. "I just needed a minute first. Is Probie here yet?"

Abby waggled a finger at him in a playfully scolding gesture. "First rule here: we don't mix work and play. Tonight is purely for fun and for your personal edification. So that means no teasing, no mean nicknames, and if either of you bring this into the office, I will never forgive you − and worse, I'll never let you play here again." She was still smiling brightly, as if the thought of making them suffer might be enjoyable. "Now, if you want to mutually come up with cute nicknames for each other, then that's fine. Otherwise, your names are Tim and Tony."

"Tim..." The word tasted funny in his mouth as he said it, testing it. "Is he here yet?"

"Yup. He came over last night. Right now, he's up in the geek-loft playing with the tech toys." Abby took him by the hand and led him further into the apartment. At the far end of the living room was an iron staircase spiraling up to a loft where Abby kept all of her computer equipment. "We talked about it this morning, and we agreed that it would be best if you and I spent some time together first. He'll join us later, unless you'd like him down here now?"

Tony's stomach jumped at the suggestion. Typically, he spent the evening working up to getting a girl into bed with him. It was strange having it be such a casual given. Even stranger was the fact that Timothy McGee would be joining them. "No, that's fine. I mean, this is kind of weird, so yeah, that might be best. Hey, McGee!"

In response to his yelled greeting, McGee peered over the small ledge encircling the loft and waved. "Hey, Tony. Abby, the drive's almost done defragging. Want me to come down when it's finished?"

"That would be perfect, thanks, McGee. You're a saint." She blew him a kiss, though McGee didn't seem nearly as enthused about the situation as she was. He and Tony shared a rather skeptical look before McGee slipped back out of sight to return to his computer.

"He'll be a little while, so we can just get started without him," she said as she continued pulling Tony back towards the bedroom.

"Whoa, hey, slow down." He gave her wrist a gentle tug to stop her before raising her hand to his lips to kiss. "I'm a little nervous, and I don't want to screw this up."

Somehow, that small admission made Tony even more appealing. Not wanting the evening to become too serious yet, she asked teasingly, "Does that mean I ought to leave the body harness and floggers in the closet for the night?"

A small noise sounded in his throat, a cross between a chuckle and a pleased moan. Unable to resist, he pulled her close for a slow kiss. Abby warmed easily under his touch, letting him take his time in exploring her mouth. After a few moments, Tony tilted his head to nuzzle at her ear and whispered, "I trust you not to cross the line. Wherever the hell that is, 'cause I'm not really sure any more."

Abby pressed a quick kiss to his jaw and tugged him the last few steps to the bedroom door. "That's what safe words are for. Tonight's goal is to push your limits a little, to see if you might like things you'd never thought of before in a controlled and safe setting. There's nothing wrong with being strictly heterosexual, but there is a problem with being close-minded about it."

Drawing in a deep breath, Tony reached past her to open the door and strode in hoping that he radiated more confidence than he felt. At the moment, he felt like a college student again, staging a panty-raid on the neighboring sorority. Any minute, the house mother would storm in and start slapping him upside the head with a broom. Or worse: Gibbs. Rule Twelve very clearly stated that he wasn't supposed to be doing this. Now was not the time to be thinking about Gibbs, though, not with Abby moving to press up behind him. Instead, he distracted himself by taking in the decor around him. He'd never been in this room before, and he couldn't help smiling at what he saw.

The walls had been painted a silver that shimmered where the light caught it, though heavy black curtains were drawn, blocking out what little sunlight was left. Tiny skulls grinned back at him from the walls in a line of trim around the room, and thankfully, there wasn't another coffin but instead, a large, four-poster bed dominated the center of the room. "This is all so totally you, Abs."

"Thank you. Wanna meet Ernie?"

Tony's mouth turned down slightly in a tiny frown, and he craned his head back to look at her. "Who?"

"Ernie!" She moved to shut the door behind them, and her grin only widened as Tony jumped upon seeing the skeleton standing in the corner.

"Christ, Abby, is that thing real?"

Hurt that he would ask such a question, she put a consoling arm around Ernie's waist. "Of course he is."

"Uh huh, and is there a particular reason that he's holding a camcorder?"

Abby's mouth pursed for a moment as she searched for a snappy comeback. "Voyeurism is participation? Anyway, he's a hell of a lot cooler than a tripod."

Despite himself, Tony couldn't help laughing as she rubbed the skeleton's head affectionately. Unable to resist the urge for tactile proof, he reached out to touch it himself. What he felt definitely wasn't plastic, and he jerked his hand back quickly to wipe his fingers on the leg of his trousers. "That's really neat, Abby, but you know, I thought that tonight was supposed to be just between you, me, and McGee. Who said that Ernie was invited?"

Abby pouted coyly. "You don't like him?"

"No, no− He's great. I don't know if I want him watching, though. What if he tells all his buddies about us?"

"He's a pretty quiet guy, but if it makes you more comfortable, Ernie's gone," she said as she turned the skeleton's stand so that Ernie was facing the wall. "Anything else I can do for you?"

Hooking a finger through one of the straps attached to the skirt she wore, Tony tugged her closer to him. "Yeah, I think you're a bit overdressed for the occasion. Maybe you could do something about that?"

"No more than you are," she challenged as his arms came up to wrap around her waist so that their hips were fit together snugly. Raising a hand, she placed a finger on his lips to stop him from leaning in to kiss her again. "I want you to do this a little different than usual, okay?"

"I have no illusions that this is going to be anything like a usual weekend encounter," Tony replied before pressing a kiss to her fingertip. He had always assumed that Abby was the sort to enjoy playing games in bed and that she was also probably used to getting her way in the bedroom. He inched back just enough to be able to look at her clearly while still keeping their bodies pressed tight. "What did you have in mind?"

Her enthusiastic smile was infectious, causing him to grin back at her as she slipped her arms up around his neck. "You're a good detective. I want you to think about the things that we do together and what it is that you like about them. Then when McGee comes in, you can compare it to how things are between the two of you. Don't dismiss him just because he's a guy, but really see what it is that you like or don't like about the two situations."

"I dunno, Abbs... You're not supposed to analyze sex. That's not the point of it."

Abby waggled a finger at him. "This isn't sex-sex, Tony."

"It's not?"

"No, it's _science_ -sex! Which, on some levels, is even cooler. I mean, you can have just regular, old sex any time. This is special."

Tony pressed himself up against her and asked, "Well, then, who am I to stand in the way of science?"

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Owing to the Great Thumbdrive Frying, the rest of this chapter has been lost for all time. I can't even find my paper notes. The world shall never get to see the details of "science sex". What followed of import was establishing Tony, Abby, and McGee as having a more intimate relationship for future chapters, and a surprising revelation for Tony that he 1) has a kink for spanking and 2) enjoys it because it reminds him of Gibbs.
> 
> I apologize for this failing on my part. So far, it doesn't look like any other major chunks of the story got lost. Of course, I made backups of everything except chapter one. Naturally.


	2. What Is and What Should Never Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potential spoilers up through season 2 - Chained 12.14.04

The phrase "I'm fine" was starting to get old. It was as if no one believed him when he said it. Not the ME, not Gibbs, not Kate. McGee hadn't had to ask to know that it wasn't true, but that hadn't stopped him from preemptively telling McGee that he was. To his surprise, the guilty knots in his stomach became even worse when he looked at McGee. While they had kept things strictly on the level at work, outside the office, the two of them had become surprisingly close over the last year. Sometimes they even went out together when Abby wasn't around. She would go bowling or clubbing, and they would take in a movie or grab a pizza after a case. Once, they had even posed, half-naked, atop her coffin, waiting for her to get back home. Abby had been beside herself the rest of the evening.

Tony had been able to keep it together as Gibbs took his statement, he'd glibly danced around the ME who had inspected the shallow cut along the right side of his neck and jaw, he had bantered with Kate the entire way back to the Navy Yard, but McGee had been too much. The Probie had that same hopeful expression that Jeffery had worn, the one that spoke of needing to find acceptance and a place to belong. Needing to get away from them all, Tony promised to have his report on Gibbs's desk before morning shift, then he left the bullpen in favor of wandering down to Abby's lab.

As soon as he walked in, she was up and flying across the room to hug him. "Oh my God, are you okay? Let me look at you." She clasped his face between both hands and began moving his head around so that she could take in every angle, looking for injuries. 

"If I get asked that question one more time, I think I'll scream." He attempted to give her a half-hearted smile to show that he was only joking, but she could see the slight shake of Tony's frame as he stood there.

"Sometimes, we need to have a good scream. Or a good cry. Or a really good milkshake, depending on what the problem is." Abby released her hold on him in favor of opening one of the storage cabinets. From within, she pulled out her rolled up futon and set it up under her desk. Crawling on the floor, she climbed under the desk so that her feet stuck out. "Well? Are you coming in or what?"

"Doctor Abby said that only the first time was free." Despite his words, Tony shrugged off his jacked and squeezed into the darkened little cave bedside her.

"I have special rates for friends who were nearly knifed to death." Leaning over, she kissed his cheek. "Now that that's taken care of, tell me all about what happened."

"I don't want to."

"I had sort of gathered that for myself. Now spill anyway."

"Abby, please?"

"You were stuck with this creep for almost three days!" She reached out and took his hand in hers. "Gibbs wasn't telling us anything, and Tim and I were really scared."

"He wasn't a creep."

"Now you _have_ to explain that. 'Cause that's not what all the evidence says."

It was almost as hard to deny Abby as it was to say no to Gibbs. "I don't know why, but I really liked him. He was this twinky, nerdy little guy, even more uncertain and naïve than McGee. I wanted so much to be able to protect him, to keep him safe."

"Maybe it's kind of like a latent cop thing?" 

"I spent years serving and protecting on the streets. White wasn't a victim − he was a criminal. I know that. I _knew_ that. I've never felt that way about a suspect before."

"That's not what Kate says."

"Voss was different. That was... lust. She was hot; I didn't want her to be a suspect. I wanted..." 

He fell silent until Abby prodded him to continue. "How was White different?"

"He was a major pain in the ass, always freaking out and screaming, and he touched me all the time and watched me sleep. What the _hell_ is wrong with me, Abby?" He covered his face with one hand, letting his head thud back against the wall behind him. "I know it's stupid, but I can't help feeling like I let him down, like I should have done something more."

"What more could anyone ask of you? He had a knife to your throat, and he would have very happily slit it."

"No, he wouldn't have. You didn't see his face. Jeffery didn't want to kill me any more than I wanted to shoot him."

Before she could reply, an all-too familiar voice interrupted. "Abby."

 _SHIT!_ Tony froze at the stern sound of Gibbs's voice. He didn't want to be having this conversation in the first place, now Gibbs was going to get pissy with him. He'd probably have to have a couple of sessions with a staff counselor. There would be all sorts of extra paperwork. 

Beside him, Abby craned her neck in order to peek out from under the desk. "Hey there, Bossman. What brings you down to the Batcave?"

"Don't you have a progress report to give to Ducky?"

"Nope. My schedule's all clear." 

"Abby, would you get out of here?"

"It's my lab, Gibbs." She didn't want him to lay into Tony. He was the picture of misery beside her and looked like he was trying to will himself to sink through the wall to freedom.

" _Out_ , Abby."

She signed something at him as she climbed out from under the desk, but Tony couldn't make out what it was. He only knew a few words and phrases. While her concern was touching, it wasn't helping any. Now Gibbs would simply be even madder as he dressed him down. Once the door had closed behind her, Tony beat him to the point, hoping to take some of the wind out of his sails. "I screwed up, Boss. I know that already. There isn't much you can add to make me feel any worse about it."

Time seemed to drag on forever as Gibbs just stood there. All Tony could see was his shoes and the legs of Gibbs's neatly pressed trousers. He hadn't been ordered to stand up, and as far as he was concerned, he was going to remain where he was until told otherwise. What he hadn't expected was for Gibbs to kneel down and work his way into the space Abby had just vacated. It was a much tighter fit with the other man there, and their bodies were pressed together as they sat. "I want you to tell me what happened."

"I gave you my initial field report. I'll have a written version on your desk by 0700."

"You did, yes. You said that Jeffery White led you to the stolen goods, that he handed you his gun to guard his six while he made the drop, and that after your disclosed your identity, White tried to knife you, at which point you shot him." Gibbs nodded slowly, folding his hands in his lap as he stared out at his shoes. "You told me how the events transpired. But I'm asking you what _happened_."

"I formed an inappropriate attachment for the suspect; however, when presented with a him-or-me scenario, I picked myself. And I would again, no question. You don't need to worry about me being a liability."

"I'm not. As your boss, I think that you handled yourself admirably in a situation where you didn't have adequate intel. You thought on your feet, and you used deadly force only as a last resort. I intend to make sure that there's a notation put in your file to that effect." Gibbs hesitated when Tony's head whipped around to stare at him. He hadn't meant to add that last remark. Rubbing the bridge of his nose with a tired sigh, he added, "I'm your boss, DiNozzo, but I like to think that I'm also your friend. As your boss, I trust you to have a complete and accurate report on my desk as agreed. As your friend, I would like you to tell me the part you intend to leave out of your report. What happened, Tony?"

Tony shook his head, unable to respond.

"That whack-job killed four people. Slit their throats to the spine without a second thought, and he would have done it to you, too."

"When he lifted the knife to my throat," Tony stopped, searching for the right thing to say. "He hesitated; that's how I was able to shoot him first. He might not have done it, Boss. I might have been able to talk him out of it, and I didn't even try." 

"Or he could have had all the time in the world to kill you while you were yapping at him." 

"He said that he and Blaine had argued over me. Blaine wanted to kill me, so Jeffery bumped him off to save me. He didn't just want me to fly him out of the country − he wanted me to go with him. I think he really meant it, Boss. He wanted me to teach him how to swim." Tony laughed and ducked his head.

Gibbs paused for a moment, attempting to wrap his mind around what he'd just heard. "Tony...are you trying to tell me that nutcase had...feelings for you?"

"In the most masculine way possible, Boss."

"I can see why you left that out of your report." Turning to look Tony directly in the eyes, he continued, "And how did you feel about him?"

"He told me that his dad used to beat the crap out of him. That no one had ever cared about him before, and I felt so guilty because I was just one more person using him, too. I thought he was just this dorky, little guy who was being bullied by Blaine, and I wanted so much to help him. I even offered him a deal if he would testify against Blaine." Tony gave another sad laugh before adding, "Stupid, huh?"

"Not stupid. We all thought the same thing, until we found Blaine dead. Hell, everyone who ever dealt with him before you believed it, too." He wanted to add that none of them would have said that they had cared about Jeffery White, but instead, he settled for simply saying, "It wasn't your fault, Tony.

Tony suppressed a shiver, still able to feel Jeffery's hand on his shoulder where he had touched him last. "I know that. I just need a little time to process everything. I'll have your report in the morning. Until then, do you mind if I hang out here a bit?"

"I think that Abby might be able to use a hand. Normally I would send McGee, but if you're so eager to get more experience with forensics, we could probably spare you upstairs for a few hours." He started to crawl out from under the desk before pausing to turn and face Tony again. "And DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, Boss?"

There was a soft smacking noise as Gibbs slapped him upside his head. His hand lingered to rub at the spot he had just hit. "Take the time you need, but don't let it get to you. You're too good an agent to lose that way."

Tony stared in disbelief as Gibbs got up and left. Behind him, Abby came hustling back in. Peering under the desk, she seemed satisfied. "He didn't leave you as a gooey mess for me to clean. That's good. What did he want?"

"To see how I was holding up. Though you would think that a man hiding under a desk in the basement of NCIS HQ would be clue enough."

"Gibbs was worried, and he wanted you to know he was worried. He doesn't usually do that; I think it's sweet."

"Sweet?" Tony chuckled, shaking his head. He brushed his fingers over the spot where Gibbs had rubbed his head. "Sweet. Right. 'Cause you know the first thing I wanted to do after killing Jeffery White was to have a conversation with my boss about how the two of us had warm, fuzzy, entirely inappropriate feelings for each other."

"I'm impressed, Tony."

"What?"

"I'm proud of you! You didn't let the fact that he has fiddly bits or your machismo get in the way of having feelings for someone, even if he turned out later to be a psychotic, homicidal nutbag. You've grown a lot as a person."

"You think that this is a good thing?"

"Yes, because..." She struggled for an answer. "Bi-guys are hot? No? Okay, how about that you're starting to realize that there's more to relationships than a pair of fantastically perfect breasts."

"Which you happen to have, by the way."

"I know, and you're not going to distract me with flattery. We all love you here, Tony. Me, Tim, Kate, Ducky − even Gibbs was worried. Because you're a great guy. I'm really sorry about what happened. I have no idea what it must be like to have to shoot someone you care about. But that's sort of the point, I guess. You did care about him. Maybe you should take some time to think about that. Ask yourself what it is that you really want in a relationship."

"Chicks really think that bi-guys are hot?"

"Is that all you got out of what I said?"

"No. It's just the part that I determined was most important. I do not, nor did I ever, want a 'relationship' with Jeffery White."

It sounded more like Tony was trying to convince himself of what he was saying than like he believed it. Taking that as his way of wanting to drop the subject, Abby decided to give it up and answer his question. "Yeah, we do find it hot, by the way. And Gibbs is right. Please try not to die on us. We like having you around, and we'd miss your stupid ass. Not to mention that Gibbs would be impossible to live with if you ever got your fool-self killed."

"He just doesn't like breaking in new agents. Except Kate. He took to her pretty quickly. And McGee. Gibbs likes him a lot, too. Maybe he just thinks that he spent too much time breaking _me_ in."

"You shouldn't compare yourself to them. I watched him go through and systematically break four different Probies before he hired you. You're really special to him: you're dependable, you're always on top of a case even when it seems like you're slacking or flirting, you pull almost as much unscheduled overtime as he does, and what I know to be his personal favorite − you're willing to work at a moment's notice without complaint or the need to flail around as you rearrange your schedule for him. You just do it. Gibbs might not say it, but he appreciates that.

In ASL, she signed //Not to mention the fact that he likes you.//

"That's not nice! I keep telling you two to stop that. It's like an annoying secret code between you and Gibbs."

"And the entire deaf population of America.: When he pouted so cutely, she said, "I could teach you, if you want."

"You would?:

"Sure. You know a little bit, right?"

"Mostly how to swear, ask a girl out, and the alphabet. Except "f" and "q"... I always forget those two for some reason."

"In how many languages can you ask a girl out on a date?"

Counting off on his fingers, "At least six."

"You're a piece of work, Tony."

"I know."

*****


	3. In My Time of Dying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Three may contain spoilers up through season 2 - "SWAK" 5.10.05

A soft touch on her shoulder jolted Kate immediately back to consciousness. The blue light filtering down from the ceiling left her with no question as to her surroundings. She was still too sluggish from her nap to have been asleep long, which meant that something had to be wrong. "What happened? Is Tony all right?"

The young woman pressed down on Kate's shoulder to keep her from bolting up from the bed. "He's resting comfortably for now, Agent Todd. His condition is still poor, but his vitals have stopped slipping. Because of that, we're going to have to ask you to leave."

"What? No! Brad said that I could stay with him. I'm not leaving him here alone," Kate whispered back heatedly. She didn't want to wake Tony now that he had finally managed to drift off, but there was no way that she was going to let some nurse order her out of there. "Tony needs to have someone here with him."

"I understand that Ma'am; however, Dr Pitt is no longer on duty. Dr Zdonek feels that allowing you to stay would be a liability." The nurse stepped closer and dropper her voice to keep from disturbing her patient. "You were allowed to stay for so long because Agent DiNozzo did need to have someone close by. Now that it looks like he might have a chance, _you_ need to leave. Even with the UV lighting, we can't take the chance of your cold complicating things."

Kate shifted to look past the nurse to take in Tony's profile. Even though he was an annoying ass, she had come to care for him over the two years that they had worked together. He was as dear to her as any of her brothers, and the sight of him lying there nearly caused her to start crying again. Quickly dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her pajama top, Kate cleared her throat softly and asked, "Would it be all right to call and have another agent sent over to sit with him? I don't want him to wake up alone."

Relieved that she wasn't going to have to try to strong-arm a federal agent, the nurse nodded her approval of the compromise. "That would be fine, but only one person. If his condition continues to improve, then he can have visitors. And you should be able to come back in a couple of days when your health has improved."

"Thank you, uh..." Kate peered at the nurse's name tag. "Thank you, Julia. Do you know if Dr Mallard is still in the building? He was here a little while ago. If he hasn't gone home yet, maybe he could come down for a bit."

"I believe that Dr Mallard is upstairs in one of the waiting rooms with a Ms Sciuto. She came in here rather distraught, and they left together about half an hour ago." She took Kate by the arm to help her find her footing and to begin leading her out. "We'll find you some clothes and then see if one of them is available."

*****

By the time she made it up to the Bethesda hospital waiting room, Kate was again scrubbing at her eyes. The pajamas had been incinerated as a precaution, and a pair of stiff, blue scrubs had been procured for her to wear. When she entered the room, she saw Dr Mallard and Abby seated in deceptively comfortable looking chairs. Ducky was trying to comfort the young technician as she cried softly. Kate took a deep breath and tried to reign in her expression so as not to make it any worse on her friend; however, the moment she was spotted, Abby leapt from the doctor's arms to assail her with questions.

"Oh my God, Kate, what's wrong? What happened? How's Tony doing − he's okay, right?" She was nearly sobbing with raw emotion as she clung to Kate's side. "What are you doing up here if he's−"

Ducky put a hand on her arm. "Abigail, breathe a moment and let her answer you." Despite Kate's red, puffed eyes, she didn't seem distraught enough for anything bad to have happened.

Confirming his suspicions, Kate replied, "Tony is doing fine. For now, at least. The doctor on call kicked me out so that I couldn't give him my cold and make things worse."

Bonelessly, Abby sank against her friend's side, and the two women supported each other in a tight hug. "You scared the hell out of me, Kate," she said accusingly into the material of Kate's scrubs. "That's not very nice."

"If it's any consolation, the nurse scared the hell out of me first." Lifting her head to offer Ducky a weak smile, she asked, "Would you mind staying with him for a while? His doctor said that someone can be with him − just not me."

"I'll do it," Abby offered, taking a step back so that she could wipe at the tears running down her cheeks, though she only succeeded in smudging her makeup even worse than before. "I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway if I went home, and I'm really good with long nights out."

Ducky refrained from mentioning that despite her tendencies to party late in the night he had probably pulled more 'long nights out' in his time. But since she seemed adamant about wanting to go back downstairs to be with Tony, he couldn't object. "Thank you, Abigail, that would be appreciated. Then I can drive Caitlin home and update Jethro of the situation. Did the doctor have anything further to say about Tony's condition?"

"Yeah. The nurse said that they had only been letting me stay before because they didn't think that he had a prayer of a chance to make it. His temperature had dropped under one-oh-four and his vitals have all improved marginally. They didn't want me to mess that up, and I don't blame them. If somehow, because of me..."

"He's strong, my dear." Ducky took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "One of the strongest, most stubborn fighters I know. He could not have survived three years with your particular supervisor otherwise."

Kate leaned in to give the doctor's cheek a kiss. "Thanks, Ducky. And Abby, if Tony does wake up, let him know that I'll be praying for him."

Because Kate was her friend, Abby tried very hard to keep a straight face. Sometimes it was hard to remember that Kate was a good Catholic. "I'm sure he'll appreciate the thought. So... you two are going home now, and we regroup in the morning?" When the others nodded in agreement, she held out her hand, palm down and fingers splayed. "Then let's kick this bug in its little, blue butt. Go Team NCIS!"

"How many Caf-Pows have you had today?"

"Nine or ten, maybe. Why?"

Both Dr Mallard and Kate rolled their eyes, but they obediently put their hands on top of Abby's in support. If this was the only way she could deal with the gravity of their situation, then they would play along. Oddly enough, when she yelled " _Break!_ " and flounced from the room, pigtails swaying, they felt better somehow.

*****

"Hey, pretty boy."

Tony blinked several times in confusion. Every inch of him hurt like hell, and from the look of things, he was still in his own personal bubble. Only the voice in his ear wasn't Kate's. It was wonderfully familiar, though. Tony opened his mouth to greet her, but only a hoarse choke come out. Not wanting Abby to worry even more, he flashed the best smile he could manage at her. Her face was already streaked with running mascara. "You look terrible," he managed, his words punctuated with a wet cough. Fresh tears misted her eyes, and he waved a stern finger at her. "None of that. Hate making women cry."

She smiled back at him. "I'm glad that you finally woke up, mister! I was hoping to get to see you before I left. McGee will be here any minute to relieve me."

"Relieve? What am I, a stakeout?" What was meant to be a cheeky smile was ruined by another round of coughing. "Water?"

Wide-eyed, Abby looked around the room desperately for something besides the bucket of soda she had gotten for herself from the upstairs cafeteria. Unable to find anything else, she picked up the styrofoam cup and positioned the straw for him to take a drink. "This is better for you than water, anyway. It has everything a growing boy needs. I mean, sodium benzoate and erythorbic acid are both preservatives, and you could use all the preserving you can get, right?"

At the moment, all that Tony cared about was that it was wet. Actually, the bubbles felt nice going down his throat. It was probably the first thing that had felt good in an eternity. Having no real concept of time, it was hard to say how long it had been. "How long you been here?" he asked once he'd had his fill of the syrupy drink.

"At the hospital, only about ten hours. But I've been working on your case for about fifty hours nonstop. Since the fascists in charge won't let me nap in here, I'm gonna be cutting out as soon as McGee gets here." She dropped a kiss on his forehead and gave his hand a squeeze. "The caffeine is starting to lose its magic."

"Don't have to stay with me. I'mma big boy; can take it."

Abby brushed his hair back off his face, her fingers lingering to stroke his cheek affectionately. "We don't have to Tony − we want to. Tim called a little while ago to say that he would be here as soon as he made a little stop to pick you up something. Isn't that nice?"

"I love presents. 'Specially one I can unwrap." He gave the hem of her shirt a suggestive tug.

Tony was the only person she knew who could make something said in such a sickly tone still sound sexy. "You'd better get better," Abby threatened as she wiped fresh tears from her cheeks. 

Pulling gently at her waist, Tony managed to sit up enough to meet her for a slow, soft kiss. Once she had finally pulled away from him, Tony sank back against his pillow with a wicked grin lighting up his face. "You're still totally hot, Abby," he stated in a gravely whisper.

"Yes, she is." From the doorway, McGee stood alongside Dr Pitt. They were both frowning at the pair of them, though most likely for different reasons. "Good to see that you're feeling better, Tony."

Completely oblivious to his tone, Abby tilted her head to the side and smiled at him. "Thank you, McGee. You are a man with fantastic taste." Gesturing to the large cardboard box the agent held, she asked, "Is that it?"

"Yeah, I managed to find everything, but first... Dr Pitt, I need to speak with Special Agent DiNozzo regarding a particular case he was working before this started. It's urgent, but classified. Would you mind turning off the intercom device and stepping outside?"

Abby stood there, mouth open, the picture of indignation. "McGee, that's cold!"

"Abby, please. It shouldn't take more than five or ten minutes. Doctor?"

Looking between them, Dr Pitt finally nodded. He turned to face the nurse's station through the glass. "Emma, would you mind turning off the microphones and please get our guests some coffee? Thank you. And I'll be back in a few minutes to check on him. Agent McGee, please try not to let him overexert himself. If he starts to have a reaction of any kind, there's an emergency button on the call desk."

"Yes, sir. Thank you for understanding. I'll be as brief as possible." McGee shot Abby a look that silenced further protests until the doctor had left, following behind the blonde nurse who waved at them as she left. Once they had both gone out the doors, McGee turned back to the bed. The sight of Tony like that made his chest tighten.

"Did Gibbs put you up to this, McGee? 'Cause it totally sucks."

Tony minutely shook his head from side to side. "Didn't have any hot cases."

Abby's jaw dropped as McGee sat on the edge of the bed. He placed one hand over Tony's while brushing his fingers along Tony's cheek with the other. Encouraged by the low, contented groan of approval from the Italian, McGee said, "It was the best thing I could think of. We don't have a lot of time, but I didn't want to be too suspicious. I figured you wouldn't want to advertise our... relationship."

"McGee, I owe you some of the best apology sex ever." Abby tilted the young field agent's face up to give him a kiss as well. "Take good care of Tony for me. I'll see if I can't stall the good doctor a bit longer with some nosy questions on my way out. You two boys have fun."

*****

At Tony's behest, McGee did his best to fill him in on the details of the case. For the most part, Tony simply lied there, enjoying the sound of McGee's voice washing over him and the feel of his friend's hands massaging the pain from his neck and shoulders. Once he had been given a full update, he asked, "Gibbs still pissed at me?"

"Gibbs?" McGee's hand slipped down the front of Tony's pajamas while he thought. "Not that I've noticed. Why? Did he seem pissed to you when he was here?"

"Yeah. Gave me strict orders not to die, then he hit me." A hacking cough nearly doubled Tony over, and McGee had to hold him upright so that he could breathe.

Concerned, he asked, "Should I get the nurse to come back?"

Tony shook his head weakly, concentrating on forcing the wheezing to stop. When he was able to catch his breath again, he replied, "It was annoying at first, but you get used to it."

"Kind of like you?" McGee's smile clearly said that he was kidding, but Tony still pouted at him. "When I'm at the office next, I'll talk to Gibbs. If he stomps and yells a lot, then we'll know everything's all right."

"Definitely wasn't normal." Tony jiggled the cell phone that he was still holding in his right hand which was still being pumped full of useless antibiotics. "Gave me this and called me 'Spanky' before he left."

"This is bizarre, even for Gibbs. I understand the head-slap thing, but why Spanky−" His question cut off mid-word as his jaw dropped, and McGee could only stare down at Tony in horror.

It took Tony a few moments to understand what he was thinking, and then he, too, was left with a mortified expression on his face. "No."

"How could he have found out?"

"No."

"None of us ever said anything! We− We were always so careful at work. Never came into the office or a crime scene together."

"No!"

"How does he _do_ that?" McGee's voice was filled with awe as he thought about their boss's unusual talent for knowing more than he should.

Tony's reply was lost as the doors swished open and the nurse returned with a coffee cup in hand. Very subtly, McGee shifted himself so that they were no longer touching. "Thank you, ma'am," he said with a smile, taking the offered beverage. "And I've finished all the sensitive questioning. You can turn the monitors back on now."

Once Emma had checked his vitals, plumped his pillow, and left, Tony asked weakly, "So. You ever gonna tell me what's in the box?"

"Oh..." He had completely forgotten about their little gift. "Ducky sent a few things − vitamins and supplements. Some sort of nifty-looking cooling strips that have sticky on one side. You put them on your forehead, and they make you feel better. I also picked you up a portable DVD player and a copy of the AFI's ten greatest films of all time. _Citizen Kane, Casablanca,_ the original _Godfather, Gone with the Wind,_ and some others."

" _Lawrence of Arabia. The Wizard of Oz. The Graduate..._ " Tony closed his eyes and nestled his head back against the pillow as he felt himself starting to go under again. " _On the Waterfront... Schindler..._ "

"Go to sleep, Tony." McGee smoothed his hair back again.

"And _Singin' in the Rain_."

*****

Ducky was all smiles as he exited the elevator to make his way across the bullpen to Gibbs's desk. As early as it was, neither McGee nor Kate had arrived at the Navy Yard yet, but his news couldn't wait. Even if Gibbs was incredibly surly before finishing his first coffee of the morning, his news was sure to cheer even Jethro Gibbs.

"His fever has gone down," he announced proudly, pleased that he could be the barer of such good news. "Dropped below 102˚ and seems to be stable."

Not even looking up from the report he was reading, Gibbs replied, "You sound surprised by that, Ducky."

"I would say 'relieved' is a better word for it, Jethro." Dr Mallard drew back from the desk and crossed his arms across his chest. A look of stern disappointment was directed down at his friend. "Abby called in this morning to say that she was taking the day off to sit with him and make sure that he rests rather than flirts with the nursing staff."

"I feel a 'but' in that statement, Ducky." Setting aside his pen, he rose to unrepentantly meet the doctor's gaze. "Spit it out − what is it that you want?"

"While he seems to be on the mend, Tony could profit from having loved ones nearby."

"Afraid you're not going to have much luck there, Duck." Gibbs suppressed the urge to growl at his long-time friend. It wasn't the doctor's fault that the DiNozzo patriarch was an ass. "I contacted his father and his uncle in New York. The best I could get out of either of them was to get his uncle to say that he would come down to settle his affairs if things take a turn for the worst."

A frown tugged at Dr Mallard's face. Was that what had Gibbs so irritated? He knew that Gibbs took family bonds very seriously, but even that didn't seem to be reason enough to explain his irritability that morning. Not one to give up, Ducky tried again. "Then I would suggest that you go to visit him. You're the one that he's the most motivated to please, even more than himself. I'm sure that your being there would be beneficial for him."

"I've already been to see him. Between Abby and McGee, who seem to be happy to use up all their vacation time for the year during this week alone, enough people are out of the office to visit him. Oddly enough, bio-weapon attacks on federal agencies create a large amount of paperwork that needs to be done. Not to mention that the hazmat units swept through here and destroyed all the files open to air. I've sort of got my plate full already."

"Surely Caitlin or Timothy could mind things for an hour or so. Anthony hasn't recovered yet, and he could really use our help."

Gibbs refused to admit that it was disconcertingly quiet without DiNozzo's constant chatter. His unflappable good cheer was a valuable asset to the team, as well as to his own personal sanity. He could see so much of himself in DiNozzo. Gibbs could only hope that Tony never actually become like him. Equally bad was the idea that DiNozzo might be so dependent on him that he couldn't find the will to live without Gibbs's approval.

"He should be able to get over a sniffle without my holding his hand." 

"A sniffle? Jethro, he has bloody _plague_ not a cold!" Taking a deep breath, Dr Mallard forced himself to lower his voice. "In case you have forgotten, _Yersinia pestis_ is a bacillus bacterium which causes bubos and fever of approximately 106º with pneumonia-like symptoms, lymphatic drainage into the blood which causes circulatory, ventilatory, and renal breakdown, with a 60-90% mortality rate. When the white blood cells try to fight back, it causes fluid to fill the lungs, and the patient begins to slowly suffocate to death. Necrosis of the extremities is why dear Anthony's lips and fingers have a bluish tinge to them. If he does not improve, they will turn black as the tissue dies, thus the name 'Black Death' in the fourteenth century. One hundred million people dead in only six years. Ironically, the cure will be almost as painful as the disease. Despite this strain's immunity to antibiotics, they've put him on streptomycin, chloramphenical, and tetracycline, which will give him a low blood cell count, nausea, vomiting, and dizziness, all without doing a thing to fight the _Y. pestis._ So you can see why he might be the slightest bit interested in being comforted. Tony could use some good cheer, not a slap on the head." 

Privately, Gibbs was impressed yet again by the amount of seemingly useless knowledge and factoids the doctor had stored in his mind. Aloud, he asked, "How long do those damned doctors intend to keep my agent? Today will be day four that DiNozzo's been loafing around and chatting up nurses."

Ducky released a heavy sigh and shook his head in defeat. There was no pleasing some people, and Gibbs was most certainly one of them. "Patients being traditionally treated with antibiotics are usually kept in isolation for seven to ten days for observation. Agent DiNozzo is particularly lucky in that the bacteria self-destructed after thirty-two hours. His body is no longer trying to fight off the disease, merely the damage done by it. I suspect that if he continues to recover, he will take another two to three weeks at least to be up and about. Assuming, that is, that he does not suffer from an opportunistic infection."

"If you're going to see him, then give him my regards and tell him to get his ass back here quickly."

Leaning on the edge of Gibbs's desk, Ducky said in a low, firm tone, "Jethro, I am your friend, but so is Anthony. What he needs right now is for his friends to be there for him. He's always so eager for a word of praise or a scrap of recognition from you. Unless, of course, you truly don't care about the state of his condition. 'Get well soon so you can come back to work'? That's not exactly a cheering sentiment, and yet I'd be willing to wager that it will make young Anthony delighted to hear."

"My being there or not won't change anything, Dr Mallard. Either DiNozzo is strong enough to pull through, or he's not. I have a lot of things that I need to do. I am trusting Tony to be able to get through this." It was a difficult thing for him to admit to. Trusting others was not one of his strong points, but neither was having patience with people chewing him a new one. "Go if you want. Take McGee with you if that'll make you happy. Todd and I can clean up shop. And while I appreciate your perspective when I'm out of line, calling me out in front of a room full of staring agents is _not_ the way to go about it. Remember that next time."

Passers-by and blatantly eavesdropping agents all hurried about their business as Gibbs seated himself once more. He turned the chair away from Ducky before adding in a soft tone, "You're wrong, anyway. Tony wouldn't want me there. I'm better at putting people into sickbeds than comforting them once they're there."

*****

"You're looking better," Abby pronounced for the third time that morning as she ran her index finger across his lips. It would have been extremely annoying, being mothered over so, except she always followed up her remarks with physical affection. And Tony wasn't about to complain about that. "You don't look like you ate a Smurf today."

"You don't eat Smurfs. They're an ingredient in Alchemy potions to make gold." He rolled his eyes dramatically at her as if that should have been common knowledge. "That's why Gargamel wanted to get the Smurfs. So that he could have piles and piles and _piles_ of money.

"I bet you didn't get out much as a child," she remarked before stealing the untouched jell-o cup from his breakfast tray. Pilfered booty in hand, Abby crawled up onto the bed to stretched out alongside him and eat it. 

"If your mother dressed you in a sailor suit, would you want to leave the house ever?"

She hugged him tightly, mindful of the IV going into his right hand. "I am so sorry. God, that had to have been terrible! My parents just turned me loose on the neighborhood and said to be back by dinner."

"No such luck in the DiNozzo household. Piano lessons, dance lessons, Dad's little war games, and a private Italian tutor for when the extended family came to visit." Tony paused to swallow a few times. His throat was still raw, and his voice was garbled by a phlegmy sound. But talking helped him feel calmer, less like he was completely out of control. "There wasn't a lot of time for running around empty lots and playing in rusted out cars."

"Is that why you decided to become a Phys Ed major? To get back at them?"

"Best revenge ever." An incredibly self-satisfied smile lit up his face as he remembered the expression his father wore when he had told him that he had gotten a football scholarship to a public school in the Midwest. The old man probably hadn't even noticed that he knew how to play the sport, let alone that he was any good at it. "Hasn't spoken more than a dozen words to me since."

About to chastise him for his blasé attitude, Abby was cut off by the intercom clicking on. _"Excuse me, Ms Sciuto? You have a phone call coming in. I believe it's Dr Mallard."_

"Thanks, I'll be right there! Be back in a flash, Tony."

"It's not like I'm going anywhere. Oh! Tell Ducky that I'll love him forever if he brings me a pizza. Emma, my sweet, you wouldn't tattle on me if they snuck in some real food would you?"

 _Not satisfied with the quality of the room service?_ From the other side of the glass wall, the nurse shot Tony an amused expression. When Abby made it around to the service desk, Emma switched off the room-to-room intercom so that Abby could have privacy as she spoke on the phone. Picking up a file to look through, she moved closer to the elevator to give her space at the desk.

"Spanky's House of Madness, how can we service you?" she asked when she had picked up the telephone.

_"You sound to be in cheerful spirits this morning, Abigail. I take that to mean that all is well?"_

"'Morning, Duckman! Yeah, he's doing good. Says the food in this place is kind of sketchy and would love you forevahrs if you'd bring him a pizza. Would it be a terrible thing to sneak him one in?"

_"Yes, it would. You may remind Agent DiNozzo of our conversation about his cholesterol level. He needs to be mindful of such things, especially while in his sick bed!"_

"Aw, com'on, Ducky. You're supposed to get special treatment when you're sick. Mom would always get me fizzy soda and ice cream when I was sick. Maybe a tub of chunky monkey would make him happy?"

_"I suppose I could be talked into a bottle of 7-Up and sorbet. Dairy products aren't a good idea to mix with the medicine he's on."_

_"Ducky also picked him up a few more DVDs!"_

_"Yes, thank you, I was just coming to that. As you could undoubtedly hear, Timothy is with me. You may console Anthony by informing him that I brought a few more movies for him to watch."_

"I'm sure he'll appreciate that. Tell McGee he did good with that DVD player. So what did you pick him up? Anything I'll like?"

_"Quite possibly. You seem like the sort who would enjoy A Clockwork Orange. The Assassination Bureau is an incredibly amusing film. And I brought The Bridge on the River Kwai in case Jethro wanted to come as well. But that turns out to have been unnecessary."_

"He's not coming?! McGee could have stayed behind if−"

_"I suggested that as well. It did no good, I'm afraid."_

Shoulders slumping in defeat, Abby pouted at the phone. Gibbs might be a stubborn man, but he would hear about this when she got back to the Navy Yard, oh yes, he would. "At least you tried."

_"I've known Jethro for many years − I have never claimed to understand the way he thinks. It's not that he isn't concerned; Jethro simply has a large number of responsibilities to attend to."_

"Yeah, well I still think it's kind of cold. Even for Gibbs." 

_This is, undoubtedly, why the man has three ex-wives... And it would be in your best interest, Timothy, to take that smile from your face and never repeat a word of what you just heard._

Abby had to laugh. She could picture the stricken look on McGee's face at Ducky's remark. "I'll see you boys soon. And don't forget − sherbet! Bye bye."

Once she had hung up the phone, Emma came back to the nurse's station. "You're really lucky, you know?"

"What?" Her pigtails twirled as Abby turned to face the young nurse. "Why's that?"

"Tony's a great guy. Sweet and funny. You're lucky to have him. It's nearly impossible to find a nice guy in a town like this."

"Tony?" Abby gave a happy laugh as she walked past the nurse to re-enter the quarantined room. "Tony's not my boyfriend. If you like what you see, he's not taken. Just a terrible flirt."

Doing his best to appear as if he weren't interested in her call, Tony folded his hands in his lap and followed her with a bored expression on his face. "I trust there's a pepperoni and extra cheese on its way?"

Abby shook her head sadly. A couple of slices of greasy goodness sounded like an awesome idea to her, too. "The Duckster nixed the pizza idea. Through my brilliance and charisma, I did get him to promise to stop for some munchies, though! He and McGee will be here as soon as they pick up a tub of delectable frozen treatery."

"Abby! You're got him to smuggle me in some ice cream?" Tony suddenly found the energy to sit up in anticipation of junk food. 

_"Ma'am, he's not allowed to have milk or dairy products. No matter how cutely he begs for it."_

"Emma! Where are we? China? Down with the fascist ice cream oppression!" Pressing a hand to his chest, Tony had to lean back again as he started to feel woozy. "Tell her, Abbs. I need to− " 

Rubbing his chest as he coughed, Abby turned to give the nurse a thumbs-up. "Don't worry, it's just clear soda and sherbet. Or sorbet... Whichever is the one made with fruit juice. Anyway, Dr Mallard wouldn't get him anything bad."

"Take−" Tony wheezed again. "All'a fun out of it."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. And the talk around the water cooler is that Kate's still sneezing, so she can't come until that's completely cleared up."

Tony didn't seem surprised by the news. He simply shrugged and said, "Someone needs to stay home and keep Gibbs in line."

"Yeah, he's been really grouchy lately; and I mean grouchy even for Gibbs." Squirming her way back onto the bed, Abby put an arm around his waist and sulked. "Ducky says that he asked the bossman to come along and nearly got his head bit off."

"Ducky did?" Tony's eyebrows rose in surprise at that. Ducky was one of the few people that he had ever met who Gibbs never verbally assaulted. "He must be _really_ pissed at me to take it out on Ducky."

"Worried, Tony, not pissed. It wasn't your fault; he knows that. And he wanted to come too, I'm sure of it. There's just−"

"Not like I expected him to come by with flowers and a get-well card. Gibbs said his piece." Unconsciously, his fingers stroked over the cool plastic of the cell phone resting on the bed beside him. "I won't see him again until I'm back at work."

She kissed him again. "Don't let his gruff and rugged exterior fool you into thinking he doesn't care. Gibbs was freaking out trying to help you. And McGee was worried, too. It was really cute the way they were busting their asses on the case." 

"He was probably scared that Gibbs would go all _Exorcist_ on him. Head spinning and everything."

Her arm tightened around his waist as she scooted down lower to put her head on his shoulder. "You're cared about a lot more than you give yourself credit for."

Smiling, "You're sure McGee was worried about me?"

"No getting a big head, Tony." She ruffled his hair affectionately. "Did you still like it when Gibbs smacked you?"

"...yeah..."

*****

After twelve horrifically boring days of being locked away in Bethesda's isolation ward, DiNozzo's temperature had finally dropped to 99.9 degrees. Another eight hours in observation, and the hospital had been unable to hold him any longer. He was, instead, released into Ducky's care, and within an hour, Tony was wishing that he was back in bubble being pampered by his favorite nurse. Emma had been great. She thought that he was cute, she laughed at his jokes, and she plumped his pillow. His friend on the other hand had scolded him for trying to fetch his own orange juice from the kitchen.

Ducky was mothering to the point of suffocation as he puttered around DiNozzo's living room ensuring that everything was in order. He pulled blankets from the linen closet, adjusted the central air, set soft and comforting music to play in the background. One positive aspect of working impossibly long hours at the Navy Yard was that he wasn't home long enough for his apartment to become too messy. If his laundry were scattered everywhere and three-week-old dirty dishes were piled on every flat surface when Dr Mallard had brought him home, then he never would have heard the end of it. Tony was certain that Ducky would have stayed until every inch of his home was immaculate. Not that he wanted Ducky to go. His own father hadn't even so much as called to see if he was going to die or not. Even with Ducky fussing over him, it still felt nice to be cared about.

Fortunately, he knew exactly what to say to get Ducky to stop whatever he was doing and expound on a completely irrelevant story. As the Scotsman went about procuring an assortment of beverages and a line of medicines for him to take throughout the day, Ducky told him of his first time playing polo and his cousin's resulting concussion. A tray of cheese sandwiches followed to ensure that Tony did not attempt to get up unless absolutely necessary. While he prepared those, the doctor recounted his first serious illness at Edinburgh Medical.

After hearing more about that than he had ever wanted to know, lunch was definitely out of the question. Feeling sorry for him, Dr Mallard had finished off his visit by lulling Tony to sleep with a detailed report of their current case. Nothing too exciting: an ensign trafficking cocaine had wound up dead from sampling too much of the product. Gibbs and his team were searching for both supplier and buyer. 

When Tony had woken up again, it was early evening already. A portable oxygen canister had been left on the chair where Ducky had been sitting, and a half-dozen black roses were in a vase atop the entertainment center. Still not hungry, a hot shower was deemed more important than picking at a cheese sandwich that he likely wouldn't finish. As expected, a shower and a shave went a long way towards making him feel human again. The steam did wonders for the tightness in his chest, and he almost fell asleep standing under the spray.

No sooner had he stepped from the shower and begun to dry himself off than the doorbell sounded. Abby and Ducky had both already been by to see him, so maybe McGee had gotten off work and wanted to tell him how much he had missed Tony's guiding leadership at the office. And maybe he had that pizza Tony had been jonesing for all week! After hurriedly stepping into his pajama pants, Tony rubbed his hair off once more then draped the towel around his shoulders and made for the door as quickly as protesting muscles would allow him. He had to grasp the doorknob and lean heavily against it for a moment, panting. Clearly, moving anywhere at a faster clip than a shuffle was out of the question for a few more days. McGee would kill him if he opened the door looking like he wanted to hurl.

Forcing his breathing to even out, Tony finally unlocked the door and opened it to find not McGee but Gibbs standing there. Taken aback, Tony could only stare in silence. Not only was Gibbs on his doorstep, but he was looking uncharacteristically off balance. In a normal human being, he would have called in 'nervousness', but he still wasn't entirely convinced that Gibbs was human.

"Evening, Boss."

"DiNozzo." After another moment of silence passed, Gibbs asked, "Is now a bad time?"

Shaking his head was also to be added to the list of things not to be done quite yet. He had to close his eyes briefly before he could try again. "I was just taking a shower."

"Yeah, I can see that. I only ask because you were standing there a long time before you decided to open the door, and you still haven't asked me in yet. If now isn't good, I can come back..."

All but jumping to attention, Tony held the door open wide to make room for Gibbs to come in. "Sorry, Boss. You just s'prised me's all. I thought you'd be McGee."

Gibbs's voice was laced with irritation as he spoke. "Probie won't be going anywhere today. He'll be living in the squad room for awhile."

Tony winced at that. McGee had to have goofed big time for Gibbs to call him 'probie'. He shut and locked the door behind them as Gibbs crossed the living room to examine the mountain of DVDs on shelves lining the wall by the entertainment system. From time to time, he forgot how impressive it could be to those seeing it for the first time. Which was strange, considering the number of times that Tony had been to his house, Gibbs had never come by his apartment except to drop him off or pick him up from the front entrance. "What did Timmy do?"

"He managed to misplace a bag of evidence. He and Kate are backtracking the logs now. I'd be there as well to make sure they're not slacking off, but Ducky kicked me out of the building. Some bull about blood pressure."

"He probably felt sorry for McGee. They'll figure it out. It's probably just a paperwork snafu − after Mother Teresa, Timothy McGee is the least likely person in the world to lie about evidence logging." One question satisfied, he couldn't help asking another. "Not to be rude, Boss, but why did you come all the way out here? Did something happen that you want help with?"

Gibbs pulled a film off the shelf and inspected the back as he shook his head. "Nothing happened that you need to concern yourself with. You've still got a couple weeks of sick leave, and you're going to take it and like it. I was busy before, but now Ducky has given me a few extra hours of free time." Putting the DVD in his hand back on the shelf, he plucked another from its place. "If you've got other plans, I can go. Or if you'd like, we can have a couple of drinks and enjoy a movie."

'Astonished' wasn't a strong enough word for what he felt. In nearly four years of working together, Gibbs had never once stepped a foot inside his apartment. Now, he had invited himself over for drinks and a movie. Coming up to stand beside Gibbs, he looked at what he had selected and nodded in approval. " _Platoon_ is a good choice, Boss. Charlie Sheen, Johnny Depp, Willem Dafoe, directed by Oliver Stone. Won a lot of awards. Four Oscars, three Golden Globes. But if you're looking for the definitive Vietnam film, you want _Hamburger Hill_. 1987, directed by John Irving, staring Dylan McDermott and Don Cheadle. It's considered the best movie for accuracy of the war. It's about these soldiers in the 187th Infantry Regiment and their ten day battle to take a hill fortified by the North Vietnamese, and−"

"I know what happened, DiNozzo. Some of us were alive when it was going on."

"Oh. Yeah, but you were like, what, ten?"

When Gibbs turned to face him, Tony flinched reflexively, ready for the blow to the back of his head. Instead, Gibbs smiled at him, and the hand reaching out only ruffled his hair. "Good boy. Cue up the tape, and I'll get the drinks. Unless whatever they have you on should only be taken with fruit juice?"

Too stunned by the almost affectionate gesture, he found himself nodding obediently and moving toward the movie collection. "Glasses are left of the sink; drinks are in the cabinet above the fridge."

Gibbs was pleased to find the quality of DiNozzo's liquor cabinet to be on par with the rest of his lifestyle. After pouring a few fingers of an eighteen year old Scotch, he returned to the living room to find the television on and DiNozzo sprawled on the couch. His feet were propped up on the coffee table, and he looked exhausted from the effort. Whatever drugs the hospital had put him on had to be good stuff. It was tempting to ask if he was feeling up to this, but he'd probably been asked that a dozen times since his release that morning. If Tony had a problem, then he'd just have to speak up. "Here."

"Thanks, Boss." He waited until Gibbs had seated himself to loll his head to the side and offered the man a guilty half-smile. "And I wanted to let you know I'm really sorry if the others pestered you a lot the last few days."

Because Tony was sick, he let him get away without a lecture on apologizing. "The hell are you talking about?"

"Kate'n Abby'n Ducky. If I know our friends, they were bugging you for at least a week about coming over here. Not that I don't appreciate the excuse for a good drink and a great movie, but I told them not to bother. I wasn't expecting anything from you, Boss."

"You should have."

For the second time that evening, Gibbs took him by surprise. "Should have what?"

Gibbs sipped at the amber liquid and stared hard at the television set instead of meeting Tony's gaze. "As your CO, you should have been able to count on me to be there for you."

His first impulse was to crack a joke, to say something to lighten the mood so that they could watch the movie and move on. Instead, he admitted quietly, "You have never not been there for me when I needed you, Boss."

Tossing back half of the Scotch in his tumbler, Gibbs shook his head and put an arm around Tony's shoulders. "Shut up, DiNozzo."

Within twenty minutes, Tony's reclined position had slid lower and lower until he was curled up on his side with his head in Gibbs's lap, snoring softly. Amazingly enough, he had managed to do it without spilling a drop of Scotch. Taking the tumbler from his hand, Gibbs poured the remains of DiNozzo's drink into his own and set the glass aside. There was a blanket draped across the back of the couch, and he pulled it down to wrap around Tony before settling back again to watch the film.

*****


End file.
